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It Takes All Kinds…

Over the past several years, I’ve spoken to hundreds of gentlemen’s club dancers (I try not using the terms “strip club” and “stripper” after a dancer once told me that they were disrespectful to her).  The one thing I’ve noticed is that no two dancers are alike; from their backstory (or the backstory they’ve cleverly devised) to their pole tricks to their lap dances, you can never expect to have the same interaction and experience twice. Despite this, I’ve noticed that you can generally place dancers into one of several groups that I’ve commonly encountered:

– The Down-To-Earth, Nice Dancers:  These are the ones you want to encounter and will do so probably about a good 80%+ of the time:  Perhaps it starts out by you admiring her pole tricks on the stage or catching her walking around the bar, or she notices you as you walk in and make yourself comfortable.  Regardless of the circumstances, she’ll come up to you and ask you your name, offer to sit down next to you (or just sit down if there’s an open seat), ask you where you’re from and if you’d like a dance, all the while smiling and casually flirting with you.  For me, the experience of interacting with a dancer is about both their attractiveness as well as their personality, so these types of ladies will get my business every time!

IMPORTANT NOTE:  Whatever you do, NEVER BE A DICK TO A DANCER!  A dancer once instructed me that, if you aren’t interested in spending time with a lady when she approaches you, politely tell her that you’re waiting for someone else and tip her a dollar.  Yes, still tip her even if you don’t like her or don’t want a dance from her. These ladies are here to work, and even if you don’t enjoy their company or want to spend time with them, be respectful of the fact that they are entertaining you the moment you walk in the door.  If you sit at the bar where you’re expected to tip, even if you don’t have to, DO IT ANYWAY!  After all, you don’t want to be “that guy” and if you’re going to be cheap then what are you doing at a gentlemen’s club to begin with?

– The Overly Flirty Dancers:  These dancers are some of the worst to deal with; these are the dancers who come up with a “hey baby” and proceed to rub their hands and body all over you.  While I respect the attempt to aggressively get your attention and some gentlemen are actually turned on by this, it can be quite obnoxious, especially for the gentleman who wants to relax, have a drink and check out the scene before spending money on a particular dancer.

– The Bitchy Dancers:  Most of the dancers you’ll meet will treat you with respect (after all, this is a customer service industry!), but whether it’s because of a rough day inside or outside of the club, their personality, ego or something else, you’re bound to encounter a dancer who gives you an attitude or simply walks away when you won’t get a dance with them.

Personal Experience #1:  One of the most annoying encounters I’ve ever had was with a dancer who was friendly but didn’t take the subtle hints that I really wasn’t interested in doing a champagne court with her.  She gave me an attitude and said that “I should treat all of the girls equally.”  Sorry, but no… if I’m going to pay $200 for a half hour in a champagne court with you, I’m going to want to do it because I expect it to be fun, not out of guilt because some other dancer got my money and you didn’t.  From what I heard, this particular dancer started to give crap to the lady who I frequently went back into the champagne court as well. Some people just don’t have any respect!

Personal Experience #2:  Recently, I was having a conversation with a dancer when her dancer friend walked up and started bitching about another customer and how the guys were assholes.  Um, excuse me… did you happen to miss me standing here?  If you’re going to complain about the other customers perhaps you should consider that I’m one of them. I certainly know that a lot of guys can be jerks to the dancers but it’s no excuse for letting that attitude get the better of you around the ones who are going to treat you with respect.

– The “Used Car Salesman” Dancers:  It’s rare for me to find these type of dancers, but I’ve had some that have totally ruined the experience of getting a dance with them by not knowing when to stop talking and provide the customer with the dance that they paid for.  These are the dancers who try to upsell you on getting more with them (i.e. champagne court, longer dances) to the point that they ruin the time that you’re spending with them. Case in point, I was in this terrible gentlemen’s club in Miami when I went back for a dance with a dancer who spent the first 30 or so seconds giving me this rehearsed speech of times and prices for the couch dances and champagne court. I finally said to her “um, are you going to dance?” and she did, but I stayed for one song and promptly left. On another occasion, I went back for a couch dance and the dancer wouldn’t stop going on and on and on about how much more “fun” we could have in the champagne court. I don’t want to spend my half hour in the champagne court hearing about how I should stay for the next half hour after that and so on…

Despite some of my ranting above, I can say that pretty much all of my experiences with dancers have been positive ones; if not, I wouldn’t have kept going back! Just remember, at the end of the day dancers are there to entertain you and to make money… it’s their job, and no matter what type of encounter you have ALWAYS treat the ladies with respect!

– C.J. Asher

About cjasher (1591 Articles)
C.J. Asher is a blogger on various subject matters and trending topics related to sexuality, such as prostitution, women's rights, sex trafficking and LGBT issues as well as the adult entertainment industry, having interviewed celebrities such as Dennis Hof and Joanna Angel. C.J. currently resides in Philadelphia, PA and his blog can be found at

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