Whether you’re being drug out by your college buddies, attending a bachelor party, wanting to experience sexy, almost naked women dancing for you or simply curious to know what’s inside the odd windowless building with the bright sign saying “LIVE NUDE GIRLS” just down the road, there’s always a first time for experiencing a trip to a gentlemen’s club. As an aficionado of adult entertainment, I want to make your experience the best one possible (and one that will, hopefully, lead to many more visits in the future), so I’ve compiled this guide with proper gentlemen’s club etiquette, tips on how to spend wisely and how to have a quality, rewarding experience.
The Basics: Some Similarities, Many Differences
Most gentlemen’s clubs, regardless of their size or location, have a few basic features, amenities and rules that are common to all. When you first arrive, plan on paying a cover charge after 7:00pm ranging from $10.00 to $30.00 so be sure to bring cash and call the club ahead of time to find out the cover charge specifics. Also, be sure to leave any weapons at home or in your car, as many clubs have metal detectors installed for the safety of the staff and customers. When you step inside, you’ll usually find a large dance floor area with plenty of seating, a main stage area with one or more poles and a bar (sometimes surrounding the main stage or separate from it). Don’t be in rush to get the attention of the dancers or start throwing dollar bills on stage as soon as you walk in… go to the bar, relax, have a drink and take in the scene. Odds are you’ll have a lovely dancer’s company soon enough or you’ll see someone else who you like enjoy more as the night progresses, so don’t be in a rush to throw money at the first dancer you meet. Most clubs offer couch dances for $20.00 per song either out in the open or in a semi-private couch dance room as well as offer VIP rooms/champagne courts, which can run in the hundreds of dollars per hour in exchange for the private companionship of a dancer and usually a bottle of champagne or a couple of drinks. Oh, and there’s no sex in the champagne room… don’t go in expecting anything to happen (despite what a dancer might imply), as this clearly falls under the laws against prostitution and can get a club into serious trouble. Despite these similarities, no two clubs are the same… gentlemen’s clubs come in all shapes and sizes, such as the divey corner-bar clubs to the mega-clubs of Las Vegas, and thus offer a variety of amenities and charge various prices for them accordingly.
The main job of a dancer isn’t to dance, but to separate you from your dollar bills (and twenties and hundreds) and to provide an enjoyable and entertaining experience while doing so. Now, I’m not advising you to be cheap… the dancers (as well as the staff) are all hard working and deserve to be compensated for their work. However, there are a few ways that you can guarantee your fun without running low on money too early or, worse, maxing out your credit cards. First, set a budget and bring cash. This will prevent you from overspending as well as help to avoid the hefty ATM fees and credit card surcharges that many clubs tack on, which can be as high as twenty percent. You can blow through cash pretty quickly between drinks, tips and dances, so make sure to keep a mental note of how much you still have to spend before agreeing to some of the higher-priced amenities the club offers.
If you are approached by a dancer and don’t want her company or decline her invitation for a private dance, say so politely and inform them that you just arrived or that you’re waiting for another dancer. Never, ever blow off a dancer or throw some rude comment at her to get her to go away. Anyone who doesn’t respect dancers for simply doing their job shouldn’t be patronizing these establishments. Before you do politely decline, however, don’t forget to tip. Even though you might think otherwise, you are paying for the entertainment of a dancer simply by walking in the front door and watching them perform on stage or otherwise. Don’t hesitate to tip the dancers, bartenders, and even the bouncers and other staff if they help you out. A little generosity can go a long way towards getting a good reputation at the club, which could lead to complimentary admission or some free drinks during a future visit!
Not only each club but also each dancer has specific rules regarding touching… some make you keep your hands at your sides, others allow you to put your hands wherever you want (except between their legs, which is a rule in virtually every club I’ve ever visited). Always be polite and ask a dancer where you’re allowed to touch, and if a dancer says no it means NO… don’t push a dancer beyond her limits, otherwise you will find yourself (and possibly your friends) quickly ejected from the premises and banned from returning.
Always Go For The Ones With PERSONALITY!
It’s an unavoidable fact: when you go to a gentlemen’s club, you’re going to get hustled. Whether a dancer is in a rush to drag you back to the couch dance room or trying to upsell you to the champagne court, some dancers take a very aggressive approach when it comes to soliciting dances from their customers. In my experience, I’ve found that it’s often best to spend time with the dancer who is a good conversationalist, takes the time to get to know you and shares a drink and a laugh before going back for some private time together. If a dancer is too eager to offer you dances, then she’s worried more about making a dollar than entertaining you and providing you with a quality experience. There have been many times where I’ve turned down a dancer’s offer to go to the champagne court simply because she kept trying to sell me on it, even before the couch dance was even finished.
When To Go
If you’re looking for a quiet time to relax, have a drink and some conversation with the ladies, Sundays through Thursday evenings after 6:00pm are usually best at any club, as most day shifts are usually slow and weekend nights are almost always packed. The hottest dancers are usually on during the weekend evenings as it’s the most profitable shift and not only attracts larger crowds but also groups such as bachelor parties. Always check out the club’s website and social media pages to find out what’s going on before you go, as you don’t want to arrive on a Tuesday evening expecting a quiet time only to find out that a club is hosting an amateur night, adult film star appearance or other event that would draw a unexpectedly high attendance.
Websites and Social Media
Gentlemen’s club websites and social media provide an invaluable source of club information, including happy hour specials, party packages, directions, hours of operation and special events, such as sporting event broadcasts, amateur nights, adult film star appearances, golf outings and much more. Some club websites even offer free admission and complimentary transportation, so always check a club’s site before you go.
Know Your (Alcohol) Limit!
This almost goes without saying, but the excitement of a gentlemen’s club combined with a fun night out with friends can lead you to drink more than you realize or intend. Always make sure to drink sensibly, as you don’t want to ruin a good time for yourself and your friends or get yourself banned from a club that you enjoy.
Relax and have fun!
Despite some of the warnings stated above, remember that gentlemen’s clubs are meant to be a fun, relaxing experience where you get to enjoy the company of beautiful young ladies who are there for your pleasure. Treat the dancers and staff with respect, tip generously but sensibly and do your homework to ensure an incredible experience that will leave you wanting to come back for more.